Still Waters

"He leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul" - Psalm 23:2
Last week I joined an infertility support group called "Still Waters." I am so thankful for this group of women who understand the "seemingly endless cycle of hope and grief." I was touched and inspired by the stories shared. It was sobering when I learned that I am one of the youngest in the group and the one who has been dealing with infertility the shortest amount of time. I can't imagine the pain and struggle of being on this journey for 3, 5, 11 years! I am so encouraged by the author of the devotional book I am reading entitled "Guide me through this barren land." Vicki Caswell and her husband were never able to have children and did not feel called to adoption. She is now living a child-free life and is very happy; a true example that God does restore souls.
Maybe this journey will end next year for me (which is the prayer) Maybe it won't. Whatever lies ahead, I have hope that God will teach me every step of the way that "there can be peace in the storm, hope in the heartache and purpose in the pain."

Breaking for menopause

After prayer and a second opinion, I am ready to take the next step in this maze to motherhood-Menopause. I know, it doesn't sound very compatible with pregnancy, and it's not, but it is necessary for several reasons. First off, the evil endo monster is starting to stir inside my body again. I could opt for a third surgery but since the last one didn't improve my fertility, I'm going to pass and try something different. Secondly, it will be a nice break from the monthly emotional roller coaster. "This could be the month!?!?" "OK, it's time!" "Am I feeling anything different?" "Did I feel this way last month?" "I might be pregnant!!" "No, I'm not." "But I could be?!?" "Am I pregnant?" "I don't think I'm pregnant." "Nope, I'm definitely not pregnant."
Lastly, after I take my 6th Lupron injection (each shot costing an insane $582.00) the endo might be suppressed enough to allow a small window of baby opportunity. I'm sure hoping and praying it works!